I've written something like this before. It was published in the local paper in 1998. People I did not even know had it hanging on their fridge doors. I have stayed away from writing anything too serious, to avoid revealing too much about myself or about where I am in my life right now. However; something compelled me to revisit this very poignant point tonight. So, here we are. The original title to the piece I wrote in 1998 was, "Take Time to Smell the Flowers." I wrote it after a good friend at the time lost someone very close to him.
Today, something that happened to a good friend reached my core and sobered me for the rest of the day. While visiting a local library with her infant daughter, she witnessed and attended the scene of a young 4 year old boy who was struck and run over by a car in a parking lot. His toddler brother was also struck and injured, but incurred less serious injuries. Attempt to imagine going to the library with your child and within moments your entire life is changed. How must that mother feel at this very moment? Is she sitting by the side of her two young boys wondering what she could have done differently that day or even for the last 4 years? The situation was grave when they rode away in the ambulance and the prognosis did not look good. My friend, whose heart was obviously deeply moved by such an unseemly tragedy, did not know the status or whereabouts of the boy after he left the library. I am confident that at this time, only God really knows.
I began then to think of all the four year olds I started the year with. And as I looked in each of their innocent 5 year old eyes today, it hurt me to even think of the loss I would feel if anything similar were to happen to them—today, tomorrow, or decades from now. The loss of someone so young is such a loss of time. His lifetime was a fraction of what anyone would have imagined when he awoke this morning. So little time, and yet loved by those who knew him best. Those who knew his favorite color, what he got most excited about, what he had seen in his 4 years, and the moments they will never forget. So, what have we done with our seemingly abundant time in comparison to this young boy? What have I done and who have I impacted in my 27 years on earth? I am not sure we will ever truly know our impact on earth, but I do know how much the people I have loved in my life have impacted me.
The question and point of all of this is to say, "Do they know how much they mean to you today, what they did for you yesterday, and how much it means to you that they will be in your tomorrow." (that is a Dawn quote—write that down). I used to believe that they only way to say, "I love you" was to say it (or write it.) I no longer believe this is true. There are so many ways to express your love and appreciation for the people who are around you. It is the little things; like knowing what they like to drink when you go out, bringing sweet tea on a day that has the potential to be a train wreck, smiling at them as they brush by you, giving them flowers for no reason at all, saving a song for them to hear all day because you know they will love it, going out in public with you even when they'd rather not claim you with your hair in a ponytail and a ratty shirt and Capri pants. Love is so much more than words. It is the way a person makes you feel. It is how seeing them after a short absence makes you breathe easier knowing that they made it back safely. It is knowing them well enough to know what to say when things are hard and being the first person they went to tell when things are finally going right. So, how do you make the people you love feel? I had people in my life for entirely too long that made me feel like loving them was my greatest tragedy. I felt ashamed, sad, and alone when I was around them. I felt unwanted, untouchable, and less than a woman. I have rid myself of people like that, but I often catch myself before being completely tactless (which let's face it—I can sometimes be) and stopping myself--remembering the impact of our words and the impression we make on others image of themselves. What do you do throughout your day to remain positive? How do you influence others? What do you say and do for the people you love? Because I know, just as well as anyone, that it is the people you love that see you at your worst. They are the ones that get fights picked with them when you can't fight the boss, or when everything has gone wrong. Do you ever stop to say, "I appreciate that you were there for me…." Do we appreciate what we have right in front of us? Another friend sent me an email tonight. One of those cheesy emails that ask you to forward this to seven friends, but it said something profound that I really liked. It said, "Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." Stop a moment; take a deep breath…who are the diamonds in your life? I compare diamonds to the china in your cabinet. Do you look at in the glass case or do you take it out and use it! Do the people you love most feel the importance they hold in your life? Do they feel appreciated? Do they feel like diamonds? Do you build them up and give as much as you receive? Are you open, honest, respectful, and compassionate? Do you ask them how their day was, and actually listen for the response? Do you think of things that would make them smile and make their day? Do they feel your love? Are you confident enough in the diamonds in your life that if you lost them tomorrow, they would not question how much they meant to you. If I have learned anything since I wrote the original piece in 98, it is that what we say is not for the people we lose, but the people left behind. So, what are you leaving your diamonds with today…..if you were taken from this earth in the next blink of an eye would there be anything left to say or do…would they say, "They loved me, they appreciated me, and they meant the world to me. They helped me be the best version of me, and their memory and love with live in me always…" If not, then you have work to do. And let's be honest with ourselves—we all have work to do somewhere, with someone, maybe even someone we don't even know yet
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